Today, as I write, it is the day after my beloved pooch crossed the rainbow bridge to endless walks and treats, where I know in my heart she was met by two of the most important women in my life, my Mum and my mother-in-law.
Myself, my family and LJ (our other dog) are grieving for the loss of the wonderful ball of fluff and fun, Lucy Bear, the Springer Spaniel.
Yes, I did say LJ and I feel that I owe it to her to discuss that our pooches also ‘grieve’. In this instance, LJ is ‘grieving’ for the loss of her housemate & companion but dogs are also known to ‘grieve’ for the loss of their human too.
As most of you will agree, during this time of sadness & adjustment, it is essential to respect each other’s feelings and to be there for each other. Like us humans, dogs too can react differently to loss, some may act ’normal’ some may experience depression.
As a family how can we support our dog? My gut reaction told me to simply watch her behaviour. Today, LJ’s mood has dipped. LJ is more on guard and barking at things she would not normally bark at. We have kept her close, fussed, walked, and praised her.
So when I started the research for this blog it told me that my gut was correct (on a side note – we need to trust our guts more often, some ignore this marvellous tool). My experience working with dogs also gave me a good basic understanding.
I used Bluecross and the Dogs Trust websites to help organise my thoughts into a personal list of recommendations:
- Be there for your dog and spend quality time with them. Focus on what makes them happy and do more of that. In LJ’s case, she loves hunting in the fields or hedgerows.
- Keep an eye on any changes in their behaviour. Behavioural change is a great indicator that something is not quite right. During a consult for Clinical Canine Massage, we discuss behavioural changes as they be signs of pain, but in this case they may be signs of ‘grief’ / separation anxiety. Changes to look out for are: panting, pacing, whining, drooling, howling, barking and not eating. (Don’t forget these could also be symptoms of illness so, be sure to check with your vet if you are concerned.)
- Bear in mind somatic empathy, where your dog can pick up on & feel the emotions of family members in terms of our grief, loss, sadness, sorrow and heartbreak.
- Give your dog time. Dogs need to work out how they fit into the new dynamic of the family. If the housemate was ‘the leader’ then, your ‘grieving’ dog may feel unsettled as they step into the role of leader and may need time to adjust to this new role.
- Keep your routine the same – dogs are creatures of habit and any changes may cause stress due to disruption. I.e. keep meal times the same, don’t change their diet and make sure they are eating/drinking & toileting properly.
- Don’t rush to remove reminders of your dog that has crossed the rainbow bridge, especially beds, as your ‘grieving’ pooch may still be attached to them.
- Dogs are sociable animals that live in family groups and some websites say getting a ‘new’ dog or puppy can help your surviving pooch, however, I agree with Bluecross when they say don’t rush into getting another dog quickly. Allow time for you all to grieve and when the time is right, your new family pooch will be there. Trust the universe. When & if you do gain a new family member – why don’t you let your dog help you choose? (as discussed by The Spruce Pets) and then make sure the introductions are carried out slowly.
Basically, ‘loss affects us all and we cope best when we care for each other’ states Bluecross and I wholeheartedly agree.
Thanks for reading
Namaste.
Love Lou xxx
07969 461549;
louise@momentumcaninemassage.co.uk