The Fear Was Still There. I Was Just Calmer Than It

Last weekend, on our walk around the Rollright Stones, we came across a field of young cows.

Now, if you’ve known me for any length of time, you’ll know that cows and I have a rather complicated relationship. Whilst many people see gentle creatures peacefully grazing in a field, my brain tends to have a slightly different reaction. My heart rate increases, my breathing becomes shallower and every fibre of me starts looking for the nearest exit. It’s not entirely ideal when your job involves leading walks through the British countryside!

Over the years I’ve tried all sorts of things to tackle this fear. Therapy, tapping, hypnosis and various other techniques that promised to make me feel differently. Some helped a little. Most helped temporarily. But the fear never completely disappeared. For a long time, I thought that was the goal. I thought success meant reaching a point where I no longer felt anxious around cows. But, what I’ve come to realise is that perhaps I was focusing on the wrong thing.

About four years ago, I started meditating. Not because of the cows. In fact, they weren’t even part of the equation. I started because life felt too busy. Like many people, I found myself constantly rushing from one thing to the next, always thinking about what needed to happen tomorrow instead of paying attention to what was happening today. At first, meditation felt a little strange. I practised while walking, whilst washing up and eventually as part of my morning routine. Over time it became less about sitting quietly and more about learning how my mind works. What I didn’t realise was that I was slowly training my nervous system. The changes were so gradual that I barely noticed them happening. There wasn’t a dramatic breakthrough moment. No lightbulb experience where everything suddenly changed. Instead, it was more like laying one brick at a time and only years later realising you’ve built a wall.

Standing in that field last weekend, I felt the familiar anxiety begin to appear. The cows were there. The fear was there too. But something was different. I wasn’t being swept away by it. I wasn’t hyperventilating like I usually do. I could feel my breathing slowing. I could feel myself staying present. I could acknowledge the fear without allowing it to take control. For the first time, I wasn’t fighting the feeling. I was simply managing my response to it.

And then I did something I never thought I would do.

I stroked two cows!

There was no dramatic music playing. Nobody handed me a medal. The world carried on exactly as before. But for me, it felt significant. Not because I had suddenly become fearless, but because I realised I didn’t need to be fearless. The fear hadn’t vanished. I had simply become calmer than it. I think there is a lesson in that for all of us.

So often we spend our lives trying to eliminate discomfort, uncertainty and fear. We tell ourselves that once we feel confident enough, brave enough or ready enough, we’ll take the next step. Yet life rarely works like that. Most of the people I meet on Adventure Geek walks aren’t fearless. The person climbing a mountain for the first time is often nervous. The person joining a walk alone may be anxious. The person booking a trip abroad might be stepping well outside their comfort zone.

They don’t do it because the fear has disappeared. They do it despite the fear. More importantly, they learn that they are capable of managing it. Perhaps resilience isn’t about becoming stronger than every challenge we face. Perhaps it’s about becoming calmer than the things that once overwhelmed us.

The older I get, the more I realise that personal growth is rarely dramatic. It doesn’t usually arrive with fireworks and fanfare. More often it sneaks up quietly, hidden in the small moments.

One day you realise you’ve done something that once felt impossible.

And that’s when you understand just how far you’ve come.

What’s Inside This Week’s Newsletter?

In short…

• New Adventure Geek QR code keyrings for walk leaders and members.
• Over £1,000 raised for the mental health charity SHOUT.
• A successful Escape Room social in Milton Keynes.
• Hazel Crawford crowned winner of the May Photo Competition.
• A record-breaking month in the Step Up Challenge with an incredible 3,880 miles walked.
• Congratulations to Bev and Di for completing Hadrian’s Wall and raising over £1,000 for Orangutan Appeal UK.
• Camino Inglés 2027 is now open for bookings.
• All July walks are now live.
• Book Club review of Chris Hoy’s inspiring autobiography.
• Positive news stories from around the world.
• Final preparations for next week’s Albanian adventure.
• Featured Trip: Camino Inglés 2027.
• Travel blog from Cappadocia, including a missing phone, Turkish night celebrations and plenty of adventure.

That’s it for this week’s update.

I hope you’ve enjoyed having a little peek into what’s been happening across the Adventure Geek community.

Wherever your adventures take you this week, I hope you find some fresh air, good company and a reason to smile.

See you on the trails.

Julia x